This Hurts My Mommy Heart

International adoption at 13 year low.

Please prayerfully consider adopting an orphan.

The Gift of Patience

I am learning to be patient.  No, don't laugh.  I really am.  While I may seem a bit insane hasty from time to time, I really am much more laid-back than I used to be.  I am learning.

You see when we decided to get pregnant with "Peat," I did.  Days before I found out I was pregnant with "Repeat," we decided to start trying and we were.  Even my four angels awaiting me in heaven were asked for and received (although, they weren't meant to live here on  earth).  Now, the journey to our little Ladybug Princess on the other hand has been a true trial of patience and faith.

Basically, my whole life I've been spoiled well-loved.  Don't get me wrong.  I've had to work for many things in my life, but I've always had a timeline/game plan to follow.  Doing "A" by this date netted me "B" and so on.  I have always known the date or approximately when I would achieve my goal.  With the adoption, the timing is not really up to me.  Not that anything ever is, but I used to think it was.  Up until two years ago and the whole injury debacle, I honestly thought I was the one in control of my life.  Now, I laughingly say that I gave up control back then.  Truthfully, God has been the only on in control forever and always will be.

So, I'm a work in progress.  I was given the gift of patience through a series of sufferings complications that have genuinely enabled me to be a better me.  They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  Well, friends, I am going to be SUPERWOMAN!

Thank  you, Lord, for your gift of patience to this undeserving soul.

Do YOU know it's Christmastime?

If you haven't heard the song "Merry Christmas" by Third Day you may not understand where my heart is coming from.

We are in the process of adopting a little princess from China.  It is so difficult to not just jump on a plane and go get her, but the paperwork is not ready.  We have much to do before we bring her home.  I know that our daughter will come home to us in God's perfect timing.  I know that in my head but sometimes my heart takes awhile to catch up.  This time of year seems especially hard.  Our Ladybug Princess is in an orphanage.  We don't know if she has enough food to eat, if she is comforted when she cries, if she knows that our Lord and Savior was born on Christmas day over 2,000 years ago.  There is only one gift I want under our tree this year, and I won't get her.  It certainly makes me realize what Christmas really is all about. 
Sweet Ladybug Princess, I pray that God's angel are watching over you.


Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.   - Mother Teresa

Note: All images in this post have been “borrowed” from the internet. If I’m using your image and you don’t want me to, let me know and I’ll take it down.

A Big Job is Completed

Okay, so maybe it's not that big of a deal, but I finished writing my Christmas letter, addressing all the envelopes, and mailing out all of the cards.  Hooray!  I feel the need to celebrate with a pumpkin spice chai tea!  Yummy.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

It's that time of year...time to curl up with a good book, some hot tea/cocoa, and get comfy under a warm blanket (unless you are lucky enough to have a fireplace to heat you up).  I'm in a book club that has been meeting for only a few months. 

So far we have read: 

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving - This was a tough book for me to get into (and apparently two others in the book club...even the friend who suggested the book didn't finish it!).  I enjoyed reading about Owen and Johnny as children, but the narrative by Johnny as an adult bored me (too political, I think).  Despite all that, the ending of the book was well worth suffering through Johnny's adult rants.  We're still trying to decide if Christie is allowed to choose another book...hahah.

Still Alice by Lisa Genova - Wow.  What a wonderfully written, thought-provoking, emotion-wringing story about Alice, a 50-something year old, Harvard professor who is diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer's Disease.  This journey of a brilliant mind's tragic deteriorization is written from Alice's point-of-view.  She shares her heartache, frustration, insight, and inspiration.  I highly recommend this one!  Great choice, Kathy!

The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf - Another "wow" inspired book.  For any Jodi Picault fans, this is one author you need to read!  I was excited to read this one since the author lives in Dubuque and the story is based in eastern Iowa.  I usually have a harder time following a story that jumps around from one point-of-view to the next, but this one kept me so intrigued that I kept turning the pages.  This is a one-night read.  So, Beth, what's it about? you ask.  It is a story that encompasses the lives of two families, whose young daughters are best friends with a very special bond.  Tragedy strikes and the race is on to save one little girl's life and the other's quality of life.  This one keeps you guessing until the end!  Way to go, Amy!

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher - Okay, this was a FANTASTIC read....a total page turner.  It is not an easy read emotionally.  This well-written, geniusly formatted book is about teen suicide.  I know, not exactly the first topic you think you want to read (or talk about).  Maybe the fact that it's a taboo subject is why teen suicide is on the rise?  Hmm, point to ponder.  In the story, Hannah leaves behind thirteen tapes for thirteen people to listen to.  These people affected her life and created her reasons why.  Wow, I wish I could explain better than that.  Still sounds all heavy, and it is.  Even though it's a tough topic to read and discuss, it is well worth it.  As a former teen, I could see myself and others in so many situations that affect Hannah.  I remember the feelings of never being able to get past a rumor or reputation.  As a mother of teens, it scares the Hell out of me.  I am very seriously considering having my sons read this and discuss it with me (and their father, who will need to read it, too).  The overlaying message here is to realize the weight of your actions, speech, jokes, etc., because you never know who will take them to heart (and it may be their "last straw").  This one comes highly recommended to all teens, parents of teens, and anyone who loves a teen...heck, anyone who has been a teen should read this!  This was my book choice, and I'm glad I did.

So, any booklovers out there in the Dubuque area want to join our little bookclub, let me know.  Anyone else who has recommendations, please share with us.  We are open to anything:  fiction, non-fiction, adult books, children's books, religious/spiritual books, inspirational, motivational, or just a good "who done it".

Baby, It's Cold Outside

It is stinkin' cold!  Do I know what the temp is?  No.  Do I care?  No.  It's just COLD!
Obviously, God made my body for warmer climes.  I just know he's trying to tell me to move to Hawaii or somewhere gorgeously, heavenly warm!

Note: All images in this post have been “borrowed” from the internet. If I’m using your image and you don’t want me to, let me know and I’ll take it down.

What is so common about sense?

Today I'm really wondering just exactly what is so "common" about common sense?

I was visiting with one of my closest friends, E, and came upon the realization that sense is just not all that common.  E just had baby number five (HURRAY).  He's a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  He also just happens to be boy number five.  Yes, she has five sons.  I'm stunned at the responses she has gotten to the question as to whether or not number five was a girl. 

Some people need to read Emily Post!  Did their parents not teach them manners?  Where is that common sense?  You just don't say certain things to people.  Honestly, she has received many full-on stupid remarks.  Of course she is happy she had number five.  Yes, she loves him "even though he's not a girl."  No, she doesn't want to put him back in and try again, or give him away.  She has even heard stuff about "learning how to use birth control."  Soooooo not funny, not smart, not using your COMMON SENSE!

She's thrilled.  He's healthy.  He's beautiful.  He's a sweet, innocent little boy (for now....heheh).

I'm beginning to believe that so many people are like crabs in a bucket:  one crab can climb up and out, but two or more in the bucket and they all pull the climber back down to where they are.  Are these people jealous that E and her husband are such AMAZING parents?  Are they jealous that E and K "can afford" choose to afford for E to stay home and raise her own children?  Are they jealous because they don't think they could "handle" five boys?  Or are they just stupid....no, make that SENSELESS!

My Heart's Desire

Today has been "one of those days" in our adoption journey.  I want to be a mommy again so badly.  I want to be YOUR mommy.  I want to hold my baby girl in my arms and make sure she knows how much she is loved.  It's weird, scary, awe-inspiring, joyful, peaceful, full-on amazing....that I love you, my sweet LadyBug Princess.  I love you the way I love your brothers, Peat and Repeat.  I love you fully and completely, totally and happily, powerfully and tearfully.  I LOVE YOU!

This is an every day, every minute, every breath kind of love.  You are my daughter and I am your mommy, yet I don't know your name, never seen your face, never held you in my arms.  Just the same, I KNOW you are mine FOREVER. 

Whew, if you are still with me, I apologize for the "heaviness" of this post.  This always is on my heart, yet today I needed to write it all out.  Thanks for obliging me.

Note: All images in this post have been “borrowed” from the internet. If I’m using your image and you don’t want me to, let me know and I’ll take it down.

World AIDS Day

Did you know???  There are 12.1 MILLION CHILDREN in Africa who are ORPHANED by AIDS.

This disease is preventable.  Education is needed.  One person really can make a difference.  That one person could be you.  Are you willing to step up and make a difference?

It costs around 40 cents a day for the 2 pills that can help keep a person living with HIV in Africa alive. (RED) - ONE COLOR UNITES US.